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Why Do I Get Soft During Sex?

Losing an erection during or before sex can be pretty devastating. Even if it happens only one time, it can throw a wrench in a sexual relationship.

If it happens more than once, a guy may need to look at the underlying causes and figure out how to deal with them. This article will cover some of the potential reasons why a man gets soft during sex.

1. Alcohol

There are a lot of myths surrounding alcohol and its effect on sexual desire and performance. One common belief is that drinking can boost libido, and this is probably true for some people. But it’s also possible to get too drunk and lose control of your actions, leading to problems like unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

Drinking can also interfere with the production of nitric oxide, which is a chemical that helps you achieve and maintain an erection. Nitric oxide causes blood vessels to expand, allowing blood to flow more freely. But if you drink too much, the blood vessels in your penis can’t relax and blood can’t flow down there. The result is a weak or flaccid erection, more commonly known as whiskey dick.

Another factor in alcohol’s impact on libido is its depressant effect on the central nervous system. This can cause a lack of inhibition and a decline in motor skills, which makes it difficult to have sex or take care of your sexual partner. So, if you’re prone to getting whisked away by a few too many pints, it might be time to limit how much you drink before you head out to make love. You can also try to find other ways to relax on dates and before sex, such as music, massages, or showering together.

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2. Anxiety

Sex anxiety can have a variety of effects on your intimate experiences, including lack of libido and interest, trouble getting aroused or experiencing an orgasm, and even physical pain and discomfort. For men, it can also result in a flaccid penis, as well as thoughts about premature ejaculation and sexual performance anxiety.

Anxiety may be a psychological issue, triggered by certain beliefs and feelings about intimacy or sex, but it can also have medical causes such as fatigue, some medications, and chronic illnesses. In some cases, therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is recommended, where your therapist will help you to understand the root of the issue and come up with healthy coping strategies.

The good news is that if your anxiety is a psychological issue, it is often possible to overcome it. There are many ways that you can do this, such as focusing on pleasure during intimate moments with your partner, treating distressing thoughts and emotions as background noise, and learning to engage in touch for its own sake rather than simply to satisfy sexual desires.

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Another option is to try sex without penetration, as this will likely increase your sensual experience and boost the release of oxytocin, which is a hormone that makes you feel loving and connected. You can also try a series of touch exercises known as Sensate Focus, which encourages you to be touched for your own pleasure, and is meant to reduce anxieties about sex.

3. A Negative Relationship

Negative relationships are a common reason why you might feel soft during sex. This type of relationship is defined as a negative correlation between two variables, meaning that when one variable goes up, the other goes down. This type of relationship can make you feel nervous, anxious, and uncomfortable during sex, which can cause your penis to go soft. If you suspect that a negative relationship is to blame for your erection problems, it’s important to speak with a professional right away. They can help you figure out the root cause of your problem and determine the best course of action for treatment.

Another possible reason for feeling soft during sex is a lack of emotional connection. If you’re not emotionally close to your partner, it can be difficult to get a good erection during sex. This is especially true if you’re in a long-term relationship or committed marriage.

A man might also feel soft during sex if he’s worried about performing well. He might be worried about how long an erection should last, or what other factors could lead to it not being there. This sense of worry can lead to sexual performance anxiety, which is a common cause of going soft during sex. The good news is that this type of worry is something that can be fixed. It’s not as serious as alcohol or stress, and it’s definitely not impossible to overcome.

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4. Physical Discomfort

Whether you’re suffering from prostate issues or a medical condition, physical discomfort can have an impact on your libido. If you’re experiencing frequent sexual discomfort, it’s important to find out the root cause. This could be a simple as an underlying health issue such as diabetes, fatigue, or medications that you’re taking. It may also be a result of excess stress, lack of intimacy, or sexual performance anxiety.

To understand what’s causing you to feel soft during sex, begin by focusing on your body sensations. Identify any parts of your body that are feeling uncomfortable or itchy. Focus on this area of your body for a few minutes, paying attention to the sensations you’re experiencing. Dismiss any thoughts that come up around this, such as the need to scratch or rub your skin, and instead allow your awareness to sit with the sensation. This is how you’ll get to know what causes your sexual discomfort, which can help you overcome it. You can also try prostate milking or a warming gel such as Promescent to enhance your arousal.