Laughter is sexy, and sharing an inside joke or prank can really get things started. It can even lead to sexy kisses.
Eat seductively in front of each other (not like a silly middle schooler eating a banana but more like licking an ice cream spoon). Watching your partner’s tongue is a turn-on.
1. Look into each other’s eyes.
In romantic movies, it is common to see couples gazing deeply into each other’s eyes. This is actually a very effective technique for creating deeper connection and establishing trust. It also triggers the release of oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone.
Try locking eyes with your partner while talking. It can be uncomfortable at first, but try to focus on a spot on their face for 10 seconds. Then switch to another spot.
Take public transit somewhere new and explore a part of the city you haven’t been to before. This is a great opportunity to bond over a shared interest and can be cheap or free. Also, chatting while you’re walking will increase your intimacy.
2. Send dirty emails.
Sending your partner sexy love letters or emails can be a great way to turn them on in bed. Just be careful to keep the content PG-13 unless you’re both comfortable with a more adult level of sex communication.
Using a privacy screen can help keep prying eyes off your message. That’s a good idea because you never know who may be looking over your shoulder on the subway or in line at Starbucks. You can even use a special app that obscures the contents of your phone, tablet or computer screen. It’s a cool way to create mystery and excitement!
3. Masturbate for each other.
Mutual masturbation is a way for partners to pleasure each other sexually by touching each other’s genitals and may or may not include penetration. This can be done in-person, over the phone, or even via video call. Touching your partner’s penis and vulva can be pleasurable in and of itself but can also be made more sexy by adding lube, using app controlled sex toys on your partner, or talking dirty.
Before engaging in this type of play, get the room ready by decluttering it and playing sexy music. If you’re doing this over the phone or video call, consider putting on some sexy underwear and turning each other on by texting erotic messages.
4. Read sexy narratives.
While watching porn may be the optimal way for some people to get turned on, sexy narratives can be equally affective. Reading erotic stories together can help you explore your sexual fantasies and boost intimacy.
Read a story about a couple in bed together or one that features different forms of kink. Whether you’re into an orgy in the bath or a wet, messy fetish like sploshing, there is a story out there for everyone.
Try giving each other a head rub or massage to build trust and create a sexy experience with touch, which is one of the five love languages. It also stimulates the olfactory sense, which is tied to sexual desire.
5. Play a game of striptease.
Playing a game of strip tease is one way to get your partner’s heart racing and their blood pumping. As long as you’re wearing clothes that are easy to take off and are familiar with the dance, this can be an incredibly sensual experience for both of you.
Put on some sexy music that has a slow rhythm and use it to guide your movements. Then, start to slowly take off your clothing. You may want to show off a little bit of skin, like your neck and cleavage, but don’t go overboard.
Once you’ve taken your top off, handcuff him with his hands behind his back or to the bed pole.
6. Eat seductively in front of each other.
In addition to sight and touch, food is a big part of seduction. Try to eat in ways that make him feel hot, even if it’s just placing a bite of your favorite snack on your hand or licking a small piece of chocolate.
You can also use food as a way to flirt with him, like placing a piece of pizza or wings on your mouth while he looks at you or putting the ketchup or mustard bottle on your hand, scantily-clad.
Don’t reveal too much, though. A little bit of skin is enough to make him want more. This is a game that works best with girls who have good curves because it shows off their body.
7. Talk about sexual fantasies.
If you are both ready for a deeper level of intimacy, discuss your sexual fantasies together. These can be a great sexy addition to foreplay, building closeness and improving trust.
This can be a scary and vulnerable experience, so it’s important to ease into the conversation slowly. You may want to try a little game where you brainstorm fantasies and rate them as green, yellow or red (green for ‘yes, that sounds fun’, yellow for’maybe/I would need to think about it some more’, and red for ‘no, I don’t like that’).
Then take it from there. You might find that your partner has a similar fantasy and wants to act on it.
8. Kiss each other often.
Kissing is a form of affection, but you can also go for more erotic kisses. Try a single lip kiss that involves sandwiching one of their lips between yours and sucking it gently. You can even be a little bit naughty and bite them in a playful way (but don’t go overboard or it will get awkward).
Talking about sexual fantasies is hot, but you can also talk about more mundane things you both like to daydream about such as moving to Alaska. Having a fuller understanding of your partner’s likes and dislikes is a great intimacy builder. It’ll make you feel connected outside of the bedroom as well.