When you’re looking forward to sex, there are some things that help it be as mind-blowing as possible. For starters, you want to avoid any foods that could cause gas or heartburn — they can make you feel uncomfortable and a little too full.
Sex begins in the brain, so reading erotica or visually imagining sex play can help heighten your senses before you start making love.
1. Get Clean
The first thing you need to do before sex is get yourself clean. This can include washing yourself, or showering before you hit the sheets. Showering is a great way to warm up the area before penetration, and it can also help you feel confident as you approach intimacy.
You can also start to send signals to your partner to make them excited about sex by doing something sensual, like giving them a long kiss in the morning or sending flirtatious texts throughout the day. Foreplay is another great way to build sexual tension before you go down, and it can really heighten your senses once you’re in the bedroom.
It’s important to have condoms ready before you have sex because they can protect you from unwanted pregnancy and STIs, like herpes and HIV. Make sure you have lube on hand, too (and consider wiping down the container for this and any other sexual products with a disinfecting wipe).
2. Get Ready
Don’t forget to groom yourself, especially down there. That means trimming your bushes and maybe even adding a little extra lube to make your partner feel extra smooth. Also, a little bit of makeup can help you look and smell your best, but don’t go overboard. You want to be able to move easily, and too much makeup can make it hard to do so.
Create sexual tension by sending your partner signals, like long kisses in the morning or flirtatious texts during the day. Then, when the time comes, you’ll already be warmed up and ready to go.
Don’t forget to have some condoms handy. That way you won’t have to worry about going out to get more or having to search through your purse in the middle of a romantic encounter. Plus, you’ll be prepared in case you suddenly realize that sex isn’t for you after all (which is totally fine!).
3. Think About It
Having sex is a big deal and it’s important that you and your partner communicate what you want out of sex. You can start with verbal communication, but you can also focus on nonverbal cues like moans and groans to get in tune with each other’s pleasure.
It’s also a good idea to talk about what you hope the experience will be like so that you don’t end up surprised or upset later on. This is also the time to ask your partner what they are looking for, too.
And don’t forget to consider foreplay, which has been shown to increase sexual pleasure and orgasms. Deep breathing, sensual touches, or even just talking dirty can all be effective ways to prep your body and mind for sex. It’s also a good idea to have a pee break before you get into the bedroom. That way, you don’t have to worry about having to go in the middle of a sexy moment!
4. Make a To-Do List
Sex is something that most people fantasize about a lot. But sex in reality often gets shoved to the side when we’re busy with work, kids, or other things that need to get done. This can lead to a lot of frustration and disappointment when sex doesn’t happen as we expect.
Fortunately, there are plenty of things you can do to prep for sex and make it more likely to happen. You can set the mood with music (it’s scientifically proven that music makes sexy), dim lighting, or candles, or even scented oils.
Try making a sex bucket list that has all the sexy things you want to do in the bedroom, from the classics like a cupless lacy bra and peekaboo crotchless panties to fun new ideas like washing each other in the shower or reenacting your favorite steamy scenes from the show — just be sure to make it consensual!
5. Get Dressed Up
It can be easy to overlook the importance of getting dressed up for sex. You want to wear something that will turn him on, not your favorite tee shirt and PJs. You might even consider buying a silky nightie or robe. And remember, men and women alike like to see a bit of skin. A little sexy lingerie or a thong can be a huge turn-on.
You should also make sure that you have all your accessories ready – condoms (if you use them), lubricant, and a hair band if needed. And don’t forget to stay hydrated! You’ll be sweating a lot during sex, and you don’t want to lose too much water. It’s also important not to drink alcohol, because that will act as a depressant and dampen your mood.
Relaxation is one of the keys to a pleasurable sexual experience. If you can slow down your mind, focus on sensual pleasure and emotions and set aside negative thoughts and feelings, you will be able to enjoy the moment and have a deeper sexual connection with your partner.
Focusing on your breath can help to distract you from self-critical or worrying thoughts. Deep breathing can also help to loosen up your body and relax the muscles. Other things you can do to relax include massage, foreplay, a warm bath and self-care activities like exercise, eating a light snack and meditating.
It is normal to feel nervous about having sex for the first time, even when you know that you are ready. It can be helpful to discuss your nervousness with your partner ahead of time and work out non-verbal communication signals. This will help you both know that if you are feeling uncomfortable or need some extra time to warm up, it is okay.