There are many reasons couples can be in a sexless marriage. It doesn’t mean they don’t love one another, but it can create feelings of inadequacy and isolation.
If you’re in a sexless marriage, there are ways to initiate lovemaking without cheating. You can use a variety of nonverbal cues to set the mood.
1. Ask Your Partner
It may be difficult to initiate sex when you and your partner have not had any discussions about sexual intimacy in a while. In addition, your partner’s erotic blueprint may be a bit off or they simply don’t feel comfortable leading the way, especially if you are usually the one to take charge of physical intimacy.
Another reason that people have a hard time navigating the topic of sex is because they fear rejection. They worry that their partner will turn them down because they are not in the mood for it or are not interested in sex at all. However, it’s important to remember that rejection does not mean that your partner doesn’t want you or love you. Rather, they may be tired or sick and just not in the mood for it at that moment.
Regardless of the reason why you and your partner have gone a while without any sex, it’s important to start having open discussions about the issue. This will allow you to understand each other’s needs better and discuss ways in which you can increase physical intimacy with each other. For example, couples can practice intimate touch through massages or cuddling. This will also encourage them to explore different pleasurable sensations to see what they like best. This will help them build excitement and interest in sex again.
2. Experiment with Different Pleasures
There are a lot of different ways to pleasure each other and increase sexual intimacy in a relationship. Try experimenting with oral sex, toys, and even roleplaying a fantasy to see what works for you. If you are feeling bored with your sex life, it can help to talk openly about your concerns with your partner and find a way to make sex more exciting again.
A number of factors can cause a couple to lose interest in sex, including low sex drive or a lack of emotional intimacy in the marriage. If you and your partner decide to try to reincorporate sex into your relationship, it’s important to remember that it takes a lot of work to keep it alive.
It’s also important to be patient and understanding with your partner if they are not as interested in sex as you are. They may be able to explain their reasons for wanting less intimate sexual activity, such as an uncomfortable position or the fact that they are recovering from a recent surgery.
In some cases, couples who are having trouble with intimacy can benefit from seeking counseling or other professional assistance. A sex therapist can help couples communicate better about their sexual desires, learn to use their bodies together for more sensual pleasure, and experiment with new pleasuring techniques that will increase erotic energy.
3. Ask Your Partner for Help
While some couples may believe a sexless marriage is inevitable or normal, there are methods to rekindle physical intimacy. Many of these require open communication and the willingness to reassess what your relationship needs are.
Some sexless marriages are due to a lack of sexual desire, while others are simply a result of new stresses in a couple’s life that lead to more frequent arguments. The key to reviving sex in your marriage is to have open communication about your sex needs, and if that isn’t possible, consider seeking out professional support.
Often, sex in a sexless marriage is neglected because one partner, usually the man, assumes responsibility for initiating sex. This can cause him to feel pressured or as if his partner doesn’t really want sex. To address this problem, a sex expert suggests bringing up the subject in a respectful, non-threatening way.
As a sex coach and educator, Smith has seen countless couples who claim to have been in sexless marriages for years. She advises couples to schedule sex like they would children’s playdates or doctor’s appointments, so both partners are reminded of the importance of physical intimacy. If this isn’t a possibility, she recommends reaching out to a couples therapist for help. They can provide you with communication tools and a framework to initiate the conversation.
4. Ask Your Partner for Support
Initiating sex isn’t easy for anyone, especially when you’ve been in a sexless marriage for a long time. Many couples think that sexless marriages are normal and just the way things are, but they don’t have to be. A lack of physical intimacy is very damaging to a relationship and can lead to feelings of resentment, infidelity, and depression.
Sometimes, sexless marriages are caused by mismatched libidos or the fact that one partner is just not feeling in the mood. In these cases, it’s important to have an open conversation and determine what the issues are. Depression, stress, and certain medications can also decrease libido. It’s also possible that sexual desires have changed over the years. Sex is a highly intimate activity that requires communication and trust.
If you’re having trouble communicating, try sex therapy. A sex therapist can help you and your partner identify what your needs are, and then work on restoring sexual intimacy.
Remember that if your partner turns you down, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you or want to be with you. It might just be that they’re tired, sick, or simply not in the mood. If this happens often, it’s definitely time to talk. Consider scheduling sex with your partner, just like you would schedule playdates or doctor’s appointments. This will give you a clear reminder of your needs and may spark some excitement.