Miscarriage can take a major toll on couples, including their emotional health. The question of when to resume sexual intimacy often arises, and each couple’s healing timeline will be different.
Many healthcare professionals recommend waiting until the bleeding from the miscarriage has stopped and you have had a menstrual period. However, this is not the only factor to consider.
Physical Recovery
Miscarriage can take a toll on both the physical and emotional health of a couple. It’s important to wait until a woman has a full menstrual cycle and any bleeding has stopped before having sex again. Depending on how the pregnancy was lost, it may also be a good idea to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about the emotions you are having, as they can impact sexual desire.
It’s generally recommended that a woman maintain ‘pelvic rest,’ meaning no tampon use or sexual activity, for two weeks following a miscarriage. This is to help prevent infection in the uterus and cervix. After this time, a pelvic exam by a healthcare provider is a great way to determine if you are medically ready for sexual activity.
However, many doctors have different recommendations for when it’s safe to resume sexual activity, which can be based on a variety of factors. As Romper notes, the best way to know if you are ready for sex is to ask your healthcare provider what their recommendation is.
In general, a doctor will consider how long the pregnancy lasted before miscarriage, and they’ll also look at any pain or other symptoms that occurred during the miscarriage. It’s also a good idea for couples to continue routine physicals, including Pap smears and STI screenings, regardless of whether they’re having sex or not.
Emotional Recovery
It’s common for people to feel a lot of emotions following miscarriage, including sadness and anger. Sometimes, feelings of numbness and shock also occur. These emotions can impact sexual desire and arousal. For this reason, it’s important to have open and honest conversations with your partner about these topics before deciding when it’s safe to start having sex again.
In many cases, the recommendation for when you can safely have sex after miscarriage is two weeks after bleeding has stopped. It’s often advised to use birth control during this time as well. For women who have experienced a missed miscarriage, or an incomplete miscarriage (sometimes called a D&C) — where the fetus doesn’t completely pass through the uterus — a longer wait is typically recommended.
Emotionally, it can take a long time to heal from pregnancy loss and get over the heartache of losing a baby. It’s often suggested that you should give yourself a break from intimacy until you feel ready, which is true for most women who have a miscarriage. However, there are some who don’t feel ready at all and don’t want to engage in sexual activity at all. This is completely normal, too, and should be respected.
Sexual Health
Pregnancy loss often has a profound impact on a person’s emotional health, and this can affect sexual desires. This is especially true for women who may suffer from psychological distress that can cause nightmares and suicidal thoughts. During this time, it is advisable to seek mental health counseling from an expert for speedy recovery.
Miscarriage can also cause the cervix to dilate, and this makes it more vulnerable to infection. For these reasons, it’s important to wait until the bleeding stops and a woman has had a normal menstrual period before having sex again. Some health care professionals recommend waiting six weeks or more, particularly if the pregnancy was longer or the person had complications during miscarriage.
However, it is important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to sex after miscarriage. It will be a personal decision that each couple must make, and based on a variety of physical and emotional factors.
The most important thing is that both partners feel comfortable in their bodies and emotionally prepared to resume sexual activity. It is also a good idea to make sure they are up-to-date on their routine physicals, including pap smears, before they engage in any sexual activity. This is to help protect against cervical cancer and other reproductive risks. It is also a good idea to discuss any concerns or worries about sexual intimacy with your partner, as this can be a difficult topic to bring up after miscarriage.
Trying Again
Despite the fact that miscarriage is common, there is no straightforward answer as to when it’s safe to try for another pregnancy. This can be a highly personal decision that depends on a variety of factors, including both physical and emotional recovery. For example, reengaging in sexual intimacy may trigger a variety of emotions that are still unprocessed. Those feelings can include fear of losing another baby, guilt over the miscarriage, and even flashbacks to the loss.
In addition, each woman’s body is different and will require different healing times. Many physicians recommend that women wait for at least two menstrual cycles after a miscarriage before trying again. That way, a person will know their hormone levels are stable before getting pregnant again. Additionally, it will also allow them to determine if they need additional time before trying again.
Some people experience what is known as a missed miscarriage, or an incomplete miscarriage. In this case, only some of the fetus passes, and sometimes a doctor will need to perform a dilation and curettage (D and C) procedure to remove any remaining tissue.
In this case, the recommended amount of time before attempting a pregnancy is longer, around six weeks. However, this is also a personal choice and should be made by the couple. It is important that both partners are comfortable with their decision and have open communication about it.
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